Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight

It’s painful. But I can’t show it. It was my own decision to enter this war. And I have to accept everything that goes with it, including the wounds that it will give.

People say that I'm amazing
I'm strong beyond my years

I’m slowly giving up on pretending, even if it’s just for a few minutes, even if it’s because no one’s here to see me in this state.

But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don’t see, because I don’t let them.

Tears are the universal symbol of weakness. I’m not yet in the end of this duel with this enemy that I challenged. It’s too early to show even a glimpse of my weak side. I’m not planning to have my future self look back to these times and remember tears covering my face.

Unafraid because Her arrow is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest

But I chose to enter this war, to fight this battle, without showing any weakness. It was entirely my decision to keep on going, bearing all the pain, keeping all the tears. So I can’t really blame anyone, other than myself.

They don't know that I come running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Because deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

For all the wounds.

For all the aches.

For all these emotions, flooding down my soul.

Those emotions I’ve hidden for so long. Those that I ignored and buried deep within my heart. It hurts. But I decided to fight without shedding a single tear. And I keep my word, even though I know how much pain it will cost me later on.

Still... somewhere deep within me, there’s a small part of my being that is secretly wishing that the others will notice the real me. The real person behind this mask. This cloak. This cover-up. Then maybe... just maybe, they can help me get out of this black hole of aches that I have created myself. For a simple reason... a simple reason of wanting to win a war against my own limitations.

It’s that small hope that somehow... someway... they’ll see the weaker side of me...







p/s NO I DIDNT WROTE THIS ON MY OWN. it's waaaay too beautiful for ME to write it myself.
and i put them here because it's exactly like what i've been feeling these days.
i've been thinking of a way to tell them here, but i just cant.
until i read these.
so yeah.