pretender

she have to lie to make friends
she have to act to cover her real feelings
and do her friends really believe her?


okay, let's just 'pretend' that girl is me.


I often pretend.
i pretend that i have this, that and other stuff i won't ever have.

lying is my life.
when you lie, then you have to keep lying.
and i lie a lot.
so yeah. now it's not a big problem to me.

when i act, everyone believes me
it's just sometimes i can't stand to watch people who believe me
but of course, i can't let my big secret to be revealed

no one is going to know! that's what i say to my heart
but still, i put it in a very safe place
i keep it down down in my memory
i keep it far far from my heart.
my heart who is suffering.

and the questions my heart says are

how long do you think you can do this?
do you think pretending can get you out of this mess?
the big mess that gets bigger and harder to get through
and do you think your friends believe you?


or they're just pretending to be your friend?




just like i pretend that she really existed.
and i pretend that i'm not like her, so i write this post pretending to be her.
so does that mean that


i'm the pretender?